Where Lies Passion, Lies Success
When I look back over the past 30 years, I struggle to see where all the time went, I had so many dreams and aspirations as a child, and I wanted to be successful. What I found was that dreams remain but they sometimes drop other dreams and that we prioritise what we want and need and different times in our lives.
For many years, I have dreamed of becoming a successful photographer whose work was admired the world over. I wanted to bask in the success from the images that I produced, but I had no direction, I had no plan, and so I settled into life. I got a husband, had children, and settled for a job that I enjoyed but was not exactly passionate about. Time went on and life threw some curveballs which had me questioning how I was living from life. it became apparent, following various tragic life events that ‘Life is short’ and so I started to consider the career that I had always wanted and which I had never reached for. A lot of my hold back comes from my confidence or lack of. I tend to be my biggest critic, and I very rarely see good in my work. I suffer with serious imposter syndrome and I often feel that someone is going to ‘catch’ me out. So in 2020, after the birth of my youngest son, knowing that there would be no more ‘buns in my oven’ then I took myself back to college. I had always seen myself as self taught, but I wanted to be able to put some of my self-doubt to rest so I decided to get my qualifications.
I started on Level 1 Photography and due to the work that I produced then I was soon transported to Level 4 Photography (HNC) - I passed that course at distinction level, I then went on to do my Level 5 Photography (HND) and again, completed that course at distinction level. I have learned so much from those courses at college and I am one level away from obtaining my degree. I was glad that I enrolled in the beginning. Although I can take photographs then I realised how much I didn’t know in terms of lighting and composure, so I have walked away with so much knowledge, I want to go as far as I can. The only issue is that Walsall College where I was studying, no longer provide Level 6, so I had to find a university which I could slot into. I looked at Wolverhampton but I was not as keen. I moved to Stafford quite recently so I looked at Staffordshire University (stoke campus) and I have been speaking to the lecturer who has agreed that I can slot into the 3rd year there. So that is my aim for September this year.
Despite obtaining high marks in my college work then I am still not believing in my worth. I put my work out there on social media, and I fail to see the best in what I can offer. But with each unit I complete and with every positive feedback that I receive then I can feel my confidence grow, which is allowing me to see a future in front of me. Yes, I am classed as an adult learner and I sometimes wonder whether I am entering the industry a little late, but I am determined to push forward and finally call myself a Photographer without feeling like I am conning people.
This is my journey. I hope you enjoy watching and reading as I progress.